That Scary Naruto Thing!
by spykitty
Summary: The first Naruot fic I wrote. One of those 'It's so damn stupid it's funny' fanfics. Please read and don't get mad. I'm a huge fan and a huge dork, so you can't feel bad, eh? Just about if not everyone who's read it enjoyed it, so why not you!
1. Prologue

A/N: Okay… Letting you know now, this is a completely WACKED OUT story, which is why it's both Humor and Horror… It was supposed to be horror, and you can see why at times, but it is also a comedy, though it wasn't intended to… And, I write these stories on about the same level as what you know… Like, later on, there will be a tall figure and while I was re reading it to get an idea, I was yelling "Who's the figure? WHO IS IT?" in the middle of study hall/RT and (besides the weird glances I got for the rest of the day) I felt stupid and answered my question… So, the moral of this story- I know about as much as you do. ON WITH THE STORY!

**Prologue: Idiocy **

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were waiting for Kakashi at the bridge since 5 a.m. … It's currently 6 p.m. with no sign of him showing up. Sakura's pissed, Naruto's whining/hungry and Sasuke's asleep…He's been asleep since 9 a.m. and they don't know if he knows he's been asleep for 9 hours, cares he's been asleep for 9 hours, or died by choking on air silently… It seems impossible, but it CAN happen… Don't know how, though.

"_Sakura……………_" Naruto whined, "I'm _hungry_…" There was an Earth shattering growl coming from Naruto's stomach.

"I swear, if Kakashi-sensei doesn't get here soon, I'm going to report him to higher authority!" Sakura growled.

"Would you really do that to Kakashi?" Naruto said. Even though Kakashi was the reason he hadn't eaten in 13 hours… 13 _hours_… why WAS he trying to defend Kakashi again? Naruto's stomach growled reminding him how hungry thinking about how hungry not eating in 13 hours had made him…

Sakura glared at Naruto. "Why are you taking baka-sensei's side?"

"After remembering how long we've had to wait, go ahead and report him." Naruto said happily… He then bit his tongue again… He didn't know why he was so happy all-of-a-sudden. So, he did what any sane individual would do who was sensing a major brain overload (who wasn't near a TV. and couldn't watch Friends) and looked at the only sign of entertainment---Sasuke sleeping. Sakura turned her direction to Sasuke as well and both of them were banking on him somehow falling into the river and being swept away.

After randomly staring at him for 7 minutes and 45… 46… 47… 48… 49… 50+ seconds, Naruto broke the silence.

"S_akura………_" Naruto whined again. "Can I got get something to eat, _please_?"

Sakura glared at Naruto. "Fine… You have 10 minutes, go it?"

Naruto nodded and hopped off toward the ramen stand.

After 13 minutes…

"Arrg… Naruto…" Sakura growled under her breath, as she continued to count the seconds that Naruto was late. Sakura was much crankier and SO P.O.ed right now, that she would kill who ever crossed her. "Damn it, Naruto! I'm going to kick your ASS!"

Naruto randomly screamed

"WTF?" Sakura said to herself.

She had 2 options. '1- Stay there and watch Sasuke', '2- Go save Naruto'. She chose '2-Save Naruto' and left since she doubted that Sasuke would fall into the water soon. I mean, what the worst trouble that Sasuke could get into asleep?

A/N: Okay… That was the first chapter… And short, too… Heh heh heh… Well, I'm going to randomly tell you my fave characters

Orochimaru

Kabuto

Itachi

Sasuke

Gaara

Kiba

Neji

Kakashi

The Squirrel(That Sakura attacked/Lee's friend)

The bunny (Haku's that Naruto attacked)


	2. 1 The Dark Alley

A/N: Okay, I'm trying to update at a good rate, by I'm only allowed on the computer for 30 min a day, so it's kinda tight. Because of that restriction, these chapters might be short, but some could be long and take a while to put up. And, I'll answer a review I got from FanFiction:

Bysilverfangedgoddess09: hahaha! this is good! i hope Sasuke magically choked on air. anyways, please update!

PS Gaara is by FAR the best. and the squirrel rox XD

My response: overall, that's my order, but my top 5 change around a lot… like, if I could meet only 3 in real life (like that could happen) It'd be Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Gaara, no doubt… or, maybe the squirrel instead of Sasuke… who knows… And, Sasuke doesn't die from choking on air, but someone… ELSE does… but, that's later…

Anyway, chapter 1!

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Dark Alley and Creepy Lights**

Sakura walked down the deserted, dark, pathways looking for Naruto. A weird mist rolled in and Sakura jumped.

"This is just like that movie I watched a while back…That Dawn of the Dead movie we watched at Sasuke's!" The mist, chill in the air and thought of being eaten alive by zombies knocked the 'super-bitch' out of her. She cautiously walked down a dark alley, but, once deep between where she entered (far enough to not be able to see the road) and the other side, she chose to return to the bridge… (A/N: If she makes it back! Muhahahahaha-cough sorry… back to the story)

While walking back, she noticed two bright lights from down the opposite way, walking toward her, but she ignored them and continued to walk at her slow pace. But, as the lights got closer and broke through the misty darkness, they seemed to be two pairs of glowing red eyes, getting closer as Sakura began to run faster.

'_OMG! What do I do NOW?_' she yelled to herself in thought, while running for her life. The objects were running, too, chasing her. She looked up and noticed the end. _'Oh, god yes! I'm getting out of here!'_

Once free of the alley, she ran for dear life toward the bridge, but she was still a klutz and tripped on air (A/N: Air just doesn't like them, huh?) as the two creatures (on all fours) walked over to her and hovered over her head, ready to strike. So, like any other girl, she screamed a high pitched scream… well, any girl like HER… She attempted to get up, while screaming (Multi-tasking), but it didn't work and the wolf-creatures (Yes… Wolf) only got closer. She screamed again and hit the closed one that growled in her face, got up, and ran back to the alley.

Once she made it, she ran for dear life (again) as she tried to reach the other side. The wolf-creatures were hot on her trail, but they seemed to be slowing down. Sakura then stopped when she noticed that Darkness was all around her.

'What the heck… Where am I? … I thought those things were right behind me… weird… Huh?' Sakura's thoughts were cut short by a hand on her shoulder. She slowly turned around.

It was the wolf creature! (Ooh, how scary...)

"I'm going to eat your brain!" It said, and Sakura screamed, not really noticing the voice.

She fell over and the two wolves began fighting.

"Eat her _brains_? Geeze, that's stupid…" One said, in a familiar voice.

"I'd like to hear you try and come up with something scary to say!" The other one said, in another familiar voice.

"Wolves _shouldn't_ be talking in the first place!" The first one said.

Then, it clicked in Sakura's mind.

"Hey! I know who you are!"

* * *

A/N: Well, that was a pretty short chapter, figuring as I wrote it off the top of my head… Anyway, please review. 


	3. The 'killer'

A/N: Hey… Um, disclaimer, I don't own Naruto, but I do own the ideas…

And the wolf costumes… I own those too. And I don't own the "Scary movie rules". Those are from Scream.

Also, I have another review, from FanFiction:

**Rena**: Hehe, option #1 sounds good. Even though NAruto IS my fav character...

Well, I like hi better later on, but at this moment, he's in my eleventh spot.

On with the story!

* * *

**Chapter 2: The 'killer'**

"Hey! I know you!"

"Uh, oh…" The two wolves said in unison.

"_Naruto_…_Ino_…" Sakura growled.

The two wolves could feel her anger… so, they removed the masks and it was, indeed, Naruto and Ino.

"This is entirely your fault, Naruto! If you didn't talk, then we could have gotten a few more laughs out of this!" Ino yelled.

"You two are heartless fiends!" Sakura yelled.

Ino bowed, as if accepting an award. "Thank you very much."

Naruto began howling with laughter, which made Sakura blush… Naruto and Ino just made a complete fool of her… Luckily, no one saw.

She then stood up and began to walk away.

"Where're you going?" Naruto demanded.

"Away from you two fiends!" Sakura yelled.

After about 10 minutes of random walking (and trying to lose Naruto and Ino), Sakura stopped and looked around.

"Where are we?" Naruto asked. The mist still hadn't left and it didn't look like they were in the forest… or the village…

"I dunno…" Ino said.

Luckily, the mist cleared and revealed a ragged, old house that none of them had seen before. There was a dirt covered path, which Naruto and Ino started walking up.

"Where're you going! We can't just intrude in someone's house!" Sakura yelled.

"Says you," Ino said, pushing open the door.

It was dark, and dusty in there, but the two entered anyway.

"_Guys_…"Sakura growled. "Come back here!"

She knew they wouldn't listen, so she entered the house as well.

They huddled together, until Naruto randomly sat down.

"Naruto! What're you doing!" Sakura yelled.

"This house is just like those scary movies!" Naruto exclaimed. Ino and Sakura sat down and listened to Naruto's far-fetched rules. "There are 3 things we can't do. 1- NO saying 'I'll be right back!', cause you won't. 2- NO kissing…"

Sakura and Ino gave Naruto a glare that could freeze hell over.

"And 3- NEVER EVER suspect the killer is dead!... EVER!"

"Gah, Naruto! That's it! You can't watch movies at Sasuke's anymore!" Sakura yelled.

Naruto looked down in disappointment and then he noticed that he was sad because he couldn't hang out with _Sasuke_… which freaked him out, so he turned away and laughed.

"Not like it affects me…" he said.

Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes until a dark figure appeared out of the darkness.

"IT'S THE KILLER!" Naruto yelled, running for the kitchen, Ino shrieked and ran up the stairs, leaving Sakura on the floor. She then yelled,

"Sasuke! HELP ME!" (A/N: Spur of the moment) and began to scream a loud, high-pitched, girly scream, which made the 'killer' topple over.

By the time it was in hitting distance, she viciously threw her fists around.

"Sakura!" the person yelled, in a familiar voice. Sakura didn't notice and screamed again.

She ran past the tall person and she ran for the (DUNDUNDUN!) basement. (A/N: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Your idiot! Don't do that! sigh)

The figure sighed and followed her down.

* * *

A/n: Okay… well, when I was writing this chapter the first time, I didn't even know who the tall figure was… sigh that probably proves how bad a writer I am… 


	4. The Random Filler thing

**Hey! People, what's up? I got 2 more reviews from FanFiction:**

**Up4laughs**: HAHAHAHAHAHAA! I was cracking up! I love your story! GENIUS! Especially the

three rules! Heheheheh...and the death glares and stuff. Well, buh-bye!

Sincerely,

Up4laughs ()PLEASE UPDATE SOON

**kakashi-sensei2:** :-3

Thanx for the reviews…. I'm happy people like it! And, it gets better… Let's leave it at that… like what's gonna happen to Naruto soon… anyway, here's chapter 3:

**Chapter 3: The Random Filler thing**

'Where to hide, where to hide?' Sakura mentally asked herself, looking behind boxes.

"Sakura, wait!" the figure said again. This time, she listened and found it to be familiar.

"Kakashi?" Sakura said, as the figure walked into the dull light. It WAS Kakashi.

"Hey-"

"YOU! YOU made me wait for 13 hours! I had to put up with _Naruto_ for 13 hours! All because of you and your da-" Sakura interrupted, then was interrupted by a scream. "Ino?" Sakura ran up the stairs.

"Sakura! Wait! Geeze…" Kakashi said, following her up the stairs.

Sakura ran up the upstairs stairway, but she noticed 2 more stairways. (If any of that makes sense) 'Which one… C'mon Ino! Give me a clue!' There was no screaming.

"I'll take that one," Kakashi said, pointing to the left stairway. Sakura jumped.

"Where did you come from!" Sakura yelled, but Kakashi had already left. She sighed and took the right stairway.

The stairway Kakashi took lead to the attic, which (when the door closed) locked hi in.

"Great…" Kakashi sighed sarcastically as he sat down in the middle of the floor.

A/N: Okay… extremely short chapter… But the next one is the best!


	5. The Death of Naruto

Okay… this is a great, very short chapter… plus the 2nd one in 1 day… Cool, huh? And, no one had no time to review, so no reviews this time.

Instead, I'm writing another story (By hand) based off of an idea I got fro a story on FanFiction called "Total Chaos" , in which the Yu-Gi-Oh! Characters are trapped in a house. My story starts as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke are trapped in a house. I have 8 chapters/days already, so when I finish this, I'll put that up.

And, since I've been told to do this, I do not own Naruto… But I do own the idea of him choking on air.

**Chapter 4: The Death of Naruto**

So, I'm betting you people would like to know what became of Naruto and Sasuke. Well, here's your answer.

Naruto walked around the cold, dark kitchen, looking for a light switch. When he did, he turned it on and, still hungry (His little prank with Ino left him still hungry… and in the wolf suit) he looked around and found a bag of chips.

So, he ate them while sitting on the counter.

After about 10 minutes, he finished and sat around.

10 more minutes later, he began choking… Not on water or food , but AIR…

Yes, Naruto was choking on air.

Very random add in thing:

It's like you go into heaven.

"How'd you die?"

"I took a bullet for my sister," one dude says.

"I pushed a friend out of the way of a car," another says.

"I choked on air."

Which doesn't belong?

So, he just kinda…well… fell… over dead.

Sasuke, in some kind of trance, walked in and noticed the dead Naruto on the floor. He then stabbed Naruto in the back with a sword, to make it seem like he was murdered.

The controlled boy then left the room.

A/N: And that's wahat happened to Naruto.


	6. Blake and AJ part 1

Okay! Review time!

**Sorakitty**:

me: O.o ...how do u choke on air?

Sora: i dunno...wanna go out or sumthin?

me: sure!

**Answer**: I have no clue… All I know is that I had a dream about someone dying like that… and that you make no noise when you do it… its freaky…

**Demonic Angel of Darkness:** Wow! This is REALLY good! I love it! But why did poor Naruto have to die? Oh

well, lol. Well, update soon! Bye!

**A/N**: Well, you'll probably like the VERY end then… and I had to have one person die right off the bat… and he was the first on I could think of…

Okay, that's the reviews... disclaimer… I don't own Naruto, but I do own the right to put my friends Blake and AJ in this story… but they're older in this than they should be…Ah, well… on with the chapter!

**Chapter 5: Blake and AJ, part 1**

"God… do these stairs EVER end!" Sakura asked herself.

"Someone help ME!" she heard Ino scream from a little higher.

"Better hurry up…" Sakura told herself as she began to walk up the stairs quicker and found the door where Ino's voice was coming from.

For no point what-so-ever, Sakura kicked the door down…

"Oopies…" Sakura said, staring at the door.

When she finally looked up, she saw Ino in the middle of the floor in a… was that a WEDDING dress! Well, it was old, but still…

"Ino… You're getting married? Who's the unlucky guy?" Sakura teased, helping that it would help get her mind back on track.

"Shut up! I don't want to marry this guy! He's obsessed that I'm his dead bride-to-be! Illana, or something like that," Ino said, while Sakura continues to stared, dumbfounded.

"So… who's the unlucky guy?" Sakura asked again, very bluntly.

"I-I think his name is Blake. But can you help—oh, hi, Blake!" Ino said, directing her attention to the doorway, along with Sakura who was staring at the man.

Blake was about 25 with long, brownish shoulder length hair and about 6' tall. He had a nice black tuxedo on with black pants and black Nikes. Sakura bluntly stared, not believing that this guy WANTED to marry Ino…

'_Why does Ino get to marry this hunk? It's not fair…From what she said, he must have really loved that Illana girl to even consider marring Ino… wait! Am I approving Ino marring this guy!' _ Sakura though, now mentally beat herself up.

"HELL no!" Inner Sakura agreed.

"Ino! Blake and you can not be married!" Sakura declared.

"But Blake wants to marry me…" Ino said. "He kinda has a one-track mind…" she muttered under her breath.

"But Ino's only 12 year-sold! And she isn't that Illana girl!" Sakura argued.

"You are mistaken girl. Time doesn't wait for true love." Blake said, in a very Miroku (IY)-like tone.

""Um… what?" Sakura asked, very blond-like.

Blake sighed. "Age can't affect my love for Illana and, if she gives it a chance, Ino could return my feelings." He walked past Sakura and grabbed Ino's hands (which were tied up, so she couldn't try to escape) in a mirror act of Miroku, but rest assure, Blake is no longer a pervert.

"That was so sweet…" Ino stated.

"HEY! YOU'RE the one who didn't want to marry him!" Sakura yelled.

Ino blushed out of embarrassment… but once she looked into Blake's eyes, she saw that he truly cared… _'It's almost like…'_

"Ino!" Sakura yelled as Ino fell over, passed out and Blake picked her up (In marriage position), disappearing.

---------------RECAP TIME! ---------------

Sakura, Ino and Naruto split up because they thought Kakashi was going to kill them, Naruto choked on air, died, and was killed by Sasuke who's possessed by who-the-HELL-knows, Kakashi's locked in the attic with God-knows-what, Ino got kidnapped by a hott creature who she's supposed to marry in place of some girl named Illana who died from who the hell WANTS to know, and Sakura is definitely the heroine of this whacked horror/comedy and is COMPLETELY clueless (What ELSE is new?)

Meanwhile, in the afterlife

"Next!" yelled the guardian to heaven and hell, who was supposed to be emotionless.

Naruto was next inline.

"How'd you die?" the creature asked

"I think I choked on air…" Naruto replied.

The guardian burst out laughing to the point it almost fell over.

End Afterlife

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update… but, I've had soooooooooooooooooo much school stuff… research and that… to do, and I'm really lazy… Which is probably most of it…


	7. I see dead people'

A/N: Okay… trying NOT to be so lazy, but this chapter will sum up a bunch.

**Chapter 6: 'I see dead people…'**

Sakura was randomly pacing back and forth, thinking of something to do about all of this… Then, she thought, _'Hey! I'll go find Kakashi!'_

So, she left the room, walked down the stairs and up the other set of stairs, and through the attic doors.

"Hello?" Sakura asked cautiously, as the door closed behind her. She then heard something and knew she wasn't alone. "Hello? Kakashi-sensei? Is that you?"

She then tripped over something and gasped in horror. It was, indeed Kakashi. (Didn't last very long, huh?)

She heard a noise again. "Heh, heh… Naruto, that you? Ino? C'mon you two! This isn't funny anymore! Knock it off! Aack!"

A figure had stepped out of the shadows, shocking Sakura. It was Sasuke, still possessed.

"Oh my GOD! Sasuke, I'm so glad you're okay! We have to go get help! Someone-" Sakura stopped herself and gasped. He had a dagger in his hand. "W-what's that for-" she then noticed blood dripping from it and added 2+2 and got 5 (HA)… Nah, she got 4 and ran down the stairs.

Sasuke followed, but walking.

'_OMFDAG! What the frig do I do now?'_ Sakura asked herself mentally, running as fast as her legs could carry her… I would, too, seeing as Sasuke had any and every intention of killing her… I mean, he already friggin' killed Kakashi (which somehow seems funny), AND has NOT said ONE word in this whole dang fanfic, thus far! WTF!

Anyway, Sakura finished the steps and ran for the kitchen, where she shrieked a high-pitched girly-girl scream.

"Oh…my…GOD!" Sakura yelled as she saw Naruto's dead, lifeless body in a pile of blood… so, she thinks that Sasuke killed him… Then, a man appeared from out of no where, covered Sakura's mouth and disappeared.

Sasuke then entered the kitchen, and, upon noticing he had lost his prey, he walked to a dark corner and disappeared.

A/N: Well, that's that… should clear things up a bit for you people… AND no one, not even myself, can say I'm lazy 'cause this is my second chapter in ONE DAY!

Random applause

Thank you, thank you very much!

Sakura: O.o………….okay… What about me? ME? The heroine! Getting kidnapped! HUH? I'm sure they want to know about that!

Me: Well, they can wait till NEXT chapter!

Neji: How long is THAT going to take? 2 months?

Me: NO! Wait… why are you here? You're not even gonna be in this!

Neji: So?

Me: Leave!

Neji: No.

Sakura: …O.o… Ah, well… I'll be in my trailer.

Me: What trailer?


	8. Blake and AJ part 2

A/M: Oh, yeah! Third Chapter in ONE DAY! OH, YEAH, BABY! BOO YAH! coughs Anyway, I guess I can't call myself lazy anymore… what can I call myself then…

Neji: Insane Phyco Witch?

Me: Wow… that's pretty good… but go away… Anyway, on with the story!

**Chapter 7: Blake and AJ, part 2**

"Aack! Where am I!" Sakura yelled at her kidnapper, then notice what he looked like. Another 25 year-old who had about ear length black hair and was Hispanic (oooooooooooooooooooooooh…) His tuxedo was similar to Blake's, but her had dark blue jeans and black Sketchers(?)

Sakura began blushing insanely. "Oh, um… hi… I'm Sakura…"

"I'm AJ, Blake's best man and, by Ino's request, you're her bride's maid," the man said.

"So, you found her?" Blake appeared, still holding Ino, who looked like she was 22ish.

"Yeah, so… should she get changed into her outfit?" AJ asked, holding a nice, floor length soft pink dress, lighter than her hair color.

"Yes," Blake said, placing the older Ino in a chair. AJ then handed Sakura the dress and she noticed what the two men were talking about. She nodded and began to leave the room, closing the door behind herself.

'_I have to get out of here…'_ Sakura thought to herself as she desperately dropped the dress and ran downstairs.

"Do you think she'll try to escape" AJ asked Blake.

"I'm not sure… But just in case…" An axe appeared in Blake's hands and he handed it to Sasuke, who (still possessed) appeared. "If she tries to escape, stop her by all means necessary."

The possessed boy nodded and vanished.

Outside the house

"Thank gosh I'm out of there…" Sakura muttered to herself. "Now to get some help." She began to walk into the nearby forest.

It was about 10 p.m. and they had spent 4 hours in the crazy house (Sorry if my math is off…)

After about 10 minutes of walking, Sakura began questioning everything.

'_What's going on? Is what Naruto said about what's happening true? Why did Sasuke attack me? Did he kill Naruto and Kakashi? What's with those two guys Blake and AJ? Do they have anything to do with what's going on? Why does Ino get to get married? Why am I asking all these questions? Do I really expect to get all these answers?'_

Out of the darkness came Sasuke, axe in hand… Which made Sakura think one thing:

'_Oh, crap…'_

A/N: HA! I proved myself wrong! I'm NOT as lazy as I thought I was! Woo hoo! YEAH! (All happy)

Neji: You're such a pompous as-

Me: Aack! You ruined my happy moment! GRR! (Pulls out flamethrower)

Neji: Aw, crap… (Starts running)

Me: Come back here! (Chases)


	9. I'll be right back

A/N: Hey! Okay, um… this chapter is long… Still don't own Naruto, and my friend she will ONE DAY… at which point it shall become something about Gaara… (Shrugs) Ah, well…

Little Sasuke: Hey, Lyssa (one of my nicknames… not to mention little people call me that ALL the time…) I'm bored!

Me: Hmm…uh… oh, yeah! (Hands him the flamethrower) Go play with Sai.

Little Sasuke: YAY! (Grabs and runs downstairs)

A/N: Anyway, review time!

Psycho Cookie: Cookie: Oh my stars. A flamethrower! Dude! I want one!

Mi-chan: your as crazy as me.

now you know that I'm a complete idiot when it comes to fire. Oh. why is Sasuke

possessed? Is it because he just want to kill people? cause I like to kill

people with flamethrowers, guns and so on. Keep up the good work. Update soon

please.

Response: Well, you'll find out in this chapter…and I like flamethrowers… they're fun to play with!

xox-Melanie-xox: Ha,ha,ha, this is really good please hurry up with the next chapters I can

hardly wait.

xox-Melanie-xox

A/N: Okay… well, on with the chapter!

**Chapter 8: I'll be right back!**

"Oh, crap…" Sakura muttered, her eyes locked on the axe. _'Looks like Sasuke got a new toy…'_

So, Sakura did what any stupid person in a horror movie would do… Tries to talk to the possessed one.

"Sasuke? It's me, Sakura… Remember?" Sakura said, walking slowly toward him. (A/N: Darn it! She needs to die already! I mean, who made HER heroine!... Oh, wait…) "C'mon! This isn't funny! If Naruto and Ino asked you to do this, then tell me!" She was now about 3 meters away from him.

Sasuke raised the axe in a position to hit her with it, so she noticed that her little 'talk' didn't work… And she ran, very closely followed by her possessed teammate.

After running for about 2 minutes, she ran into the house and closed the door. After another 3 minutes, she didn't hear anything and opened the door. Her reward was an axe being thrown at her, and luckily, she closed the door quick enough that the axe got stuck in it instead of her head.

"Sakura!" A voice said.

Sakura jumped to her feet, screamed, and began swinging the axe around, trying to hit whatever came within contact

"Sakura! Knock it off!" The voice said.

--BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP--

Little Sasuke randomly began crying

Sai: I didn't do it!

Me: Sorry for the interruption. I'll be back in a moment.

I go downstairs

Sai! How many times do I have to tell you! You DO NOT touch him! You hear me!

Sai: But-

Me: NO 'BUT's! Don't touch him again!

Uses flamethrower on him and goes upstairs

Okay, back to the story!

Sakura stopped and looked at the person. "Ino… Where the HELL have you been!" Sakura yelled.

"Passed out, mostly. I was possessed by that Illana girl and I found out a lot of helpful stuff," Ino said, cheerfully.

"And that helpful information would _be_?" Sakura asked.

"Okay, this house is an old manor that house Blake and Illana before they were married. Anyway, there was a murderer on the loose and he took custody in this house. The murderer murdered Illana and left Blake clueless with his best man, AJ, and Illana's bride's maid, Jessica. The house was later burned and none of them could rest in peace. That happened exactly 200 YEARS ago," Ino explained.

"T-two HUNDRED! … But what does that have to do with us?" Sakura asked, a bit shocked.

"Well… the spirits were able to possess people, which Blake and AJ did, However, Illana seemed to of moved on… sort of…" Ino's voice trailed off.

"What do you mean _'sort of'_?" Sakura asked, now very confused.

"Well… they thought that I was her reborn, so her memories were reawakened to me," Ino stated.

"Well, that doesn't help my Sasuke problem," Sakura said.

"Uh… what?" Ino asked, in a mirror act of Sakura (earlier in)

"He attacked me twice… once with a dagger and once…" Sakura held up the axe. "With this. I'm not sure why, though."

"Well… it could be the killer," Ino stated.

"Is there anyway to get him out of Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"Two ways… one, we get the killer to move on or two…" Ino's voice trailed off again.

"Well?"

"Or… we kill Sasuke."

Sakura gasped. "No! Absolutely not! How could you even _think_ that?' Sakura hissed.

"You're the one who asked… but, still… are you gonna try and _reason_ with the killer? That's hilarious!" Ino burst out laughing and stopped when she saw Sakura's face.

That darn face… that stupid face… the darn, stupid face that Sakura used to get anything out of Ino. Dammit…

Ino sighed… it just wasn't worth fighting. So, she grabbed the axe and opened the door.

"Fine, but if he attacks us, I'll HAVE to fight back, k.?" Ino said, walking out, closely followed by Sakura.

After about 5 minutes of walking down the forest path, there was a strange noise from down it.

"I'll go check it out." Ino said, starting to walk faster down the path.

"But-"

"Don't worry. I'll be right back."

Soon after, Ino disappeared down the path. Then, Sakura remembered something.

"Wait… didn't Naruto say something about that?"

Flash Back

"1- NO saying 'I'll be right back!', cause you won't" Naruto stated.

End Flash Back

"OMG!" Sakura yelled, running down the path after Ino.

A/N: Well… that's the chapter. I swear there will be 2 or 3 more after this.

Neji: randomly comes up from basement Um… I'd hate to ask but… what happened down there?

Me: Sai did something REALLY stupid.

Sai: From in basement I didn't do anything!

Me: Do I have to back down there! HUH!

Sai: Er… no… we're good down here.

Sasuke: Burst out laughing

Me: What did I say about laughing at other's pain?

Sasuke: Um… looks around hoping that someone will mouth him the answer

Me: Well?

Sasuke: Um… not to, uh, do it without you?

Me: And all this time I thought you never listened to me! laughs 3

Sasuke: Um… (O.o)… okay…

Neji: Okay… I'm leaving…

Sasuke: … What?

Neji: (-.-0) Never mind...

Little Sasuke: I'm bored.

Neji: Not this again… (-.-0)

Sai: still downstairs He CAN'T come down here!

Me: stops laughing Sure he can! I say so! (hands Little Sasuke a machine gun) Go have fun!

Little Sasuke: Cool! (Runs downstairs) Hey, Sai! Look what **_I_** got!

Sai: (-.-0) Someone help me…

Shadow: Appears from upstairs Um… I'd hate to ask, but what's going on?

Me: I'm _trying_ to write a fanfic, but everyone is interrupting me! ( . )

Shadow: Looks around) Has anyone seen my machine gun?

Sasuke: You mean the one she keeps taking from you because you go on killing sprees?

Shadow: Hey! I kill bad people, too!

Sasuke: You kill anyone who gets in your way… a ration of 1 to 55… bad people to pedestrians.

Shadow: I bet you can't even spell that!

Sasuke: Sure I can!

Shadow: Prove it.

Sasuke: Um… P-E-D-E… um… T?

Shadow: You're an idiot.

Me: That's what I've been saying…

Neji: Ha! That's funny… cause I'm forcefully marrying you to his older self! By help of YOUR time machine!

Sasuke: WHAT!

Me: I didn't think he'd read the manual…

Neji: HA!

Machine gun goes off

Shadow: HEY! Wait, that's mine! Runs downstairs

ME: Okay, I'm stopping now… If we keep this up, I might as well make this a fanfic all on it's own.

Sakura: Appears with TenTen Hey. Notices I'm on the computer typing Hey! You're doing the story?

TenTen: Neji! I've been looking EVERYWHERE for you! (clings to his arm)

Neji: (-.-0) Spare me…

Me: HA! If you forcefully marry me to Saskue's older self, I'll forcefully marry you and… TENTEN!

Neji: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooConitnues on

TenTen: YAY!

Me: Anyway, I hope you all like my story… and stuff…

Neji: still going on oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- (hit with random shovel) OW! Who did that! (looks around. Sees Sasuke desperately trying to hide large shovel) You!

Sasuke: Oops…

Me: Sasuke had every right to hit you. You wouldn't shut up.

Neji: You shut up! And you (pushes TenTen off) stay away from me!

TenTen: But---- she said we're getting married!

Neji: Never! Disappears

Me: Don't worry… he'll be back… they ALWAYS come back… Or, they go to Ashley's house… either works…

Anyway, that's the chapter, and I managed to kill a few more pages that I should of… Aw, well…

Little Sasuke: HELP!

Me: SHADOW! LEAVE THE FRIGGIN' MACHINE GUN ALONE! NOW!

Shadow: … comes upstairs and sits next to normal Sasuke

Sasuke: You're in trouble!

Shadow: (mocking) What's new?

Sakura: HEY! Wait! What about-------

THE END! (Of this chapter, that is!)


	10. The Unaviodable

A/N: Hey Well… fanfiction wasn't working for a bit, so that's why it took so long… anyway, all the rest of the chapters shall be put up today. Hurrah!

Little Sasuke: Lyssa! Shadow's picking on me again!

Me: sigh can you wait until later?

Anywho, here's the story

Little Sasuke: But-

Me: LATER!

**Chapter 9: The Unavoidable!**

After running for about 3 minutes, Sakura came upon a clearing. She saw Ino in the middle of it, holding her side, covering a deep wound.

"Ino! What happened?" Sakura asked.

Ino looked at the bushes. "Look back there." She said.

Sakura did so, and quickly turned away.

Sasuke was face down on the ground, the axe deep in his back, dead.

Sasuke: HEY! Why do **_I_** die!

Me: shuddap!

The axe was still tightly gripped in his hand (it was a different one then the one Naruto was killed with, so that's his 4th weapon)

"I'm… sorry, Sakura…" Ino muttered before falling over dead.

"OMG!" Sakura shrieked. She then felt for a pulse on both… there was none. (Gosh… I'm just killing EVERYONE aren't I? Now… we need some humor… (1 hour later) OH! That's a great idea! You people might hate me for it, but too bad for you!)

Sakura ran down the path (not toward the house), leaving the dead bodies (Some friend she is…) and she continues until she hit something and an interesting event commenced.

Sakura tripped on a HUGE tree branch, knocked someone else over, landing on them, LIP TO LIP.

"H-holy CRAP! Get the HELL up and see who the DAMN person is so you can kick their sorry ASS!" Inner Sakura yelled.

Sakura obeyed the voice, got up, and turned away blushing. The person, also, got up and turned away. Both turned toward each other at the same time, a look of shock plastered on their faces.

"You mean-"The figure started.

"I kissed-" Sakura continued.

A/N: I hate keeping people in the dark, but too bad for you!

Little Sasuke: Now will you help me?

Me: … Wait a minute longer. I REALLY did take 1 hour to come up with this funny event… I was totally out of funny ideas by this point, so… yeah…

Little Sasuke: Now?

Me: Sure… SHADOW! GET DOWN HERE!

Older Sasuke: He left, obviously running from you.

Me: Well, that was great… Looks like you're out of luck… Anyway, that's the chapter.


	11. Well HE didn't last very long

A/N; Another chapter, too quickly updated to have reviews… ah, well…

**Chapter 10: Well, HE didn't last very long…**

"Shikamaru!"

"Sakura?"

They both turned away, both out of frustration and embarrassment. Sakura looked at the tree branch.

Dang.Tree.Branch… IT'S the reason she kissed Shikamaru! So, she began kicking it.

Shikamaru was still standing there shocked. He had come to find Ino and yet Sakura wound up kissing him… how does THAT work out?

After about 10 minutes of silence, Shikamaru spoke.

"Um… have you seen Ino?" He asked.

Sakura looked down. "Um, well… she, uh… well, um… kinda…uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh…"

"Are you gonna answer me?"

"Simply, she's dead."

Shikamaru looked at her like she had 5,000,000,000 heads. "W-what?"

"Ino's dead along with Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke, who shouldn't really count since he was killing the others, but he was possessed by that murderer guy while I was finding the dead bodies until I found Ino and met her almost-husband, Blake, and his best man, AJ, who thought that Ino was Blake's bride-to-be, Illana, reborn then I ran away and got attacked by Sasuke and his axe, then Ino came again and took my axe and said "I'll be right back" which in scary movies means you won't but I ran and saw her and she wasn't dead and she killed Sasuke then died and I ran cause I couldn't bare the sight which is when I tripped on the tree branch and wound up kissing you be accident and told you about how Ino died by explaining that Sasuke was possessed by a murderer and killed Naruto with a sword in the kitchen and Kakashi in the attic with a dagger and then I found the bodies which is when he chased me and then I got captured by AJ who said I was gonna be Ino's bride's maid and I ran away and Sasuke chased me with an axe which is when Ino came and took the axe and said "I'll be right back" which according to Naruto means you won't and-"

"You're telling it all over again!" Shikamaru yelled out of frustration. "I get the idea!"

"Sorry… It's just I'm a little shaken up by all this…" Sakura said.

"How… bothersome…" Shikamaru muttered. "Now… what were those rules Naruto said?"

"Well, there was, 'Don't say 'I'll be right back' cause you won't'… but when I found Ino, she was still alive… and 'No kissing'… but nothing's happened to us… and finally, 'Don't say the killer is dead', but that one's false too." Sakura explained.

"So… Naruto's rules are false?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." She then noticed a surprised expression on Shikamaru's face. "What's wrong?"

"You said Sasuke's dead, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Then you might want to rethink that." Shikamaru said, pointing to (DUNDUNDUN) Sasuke, who was very much alive, and still very much possessed.

Sakura Then noticed the axe in full position to drop and cut her head in two…

The axe began to drop and all she did was scream until Shikamaru pushed out of the way, the axe barely missing them. Sasuke then went after Shikamaru, who's only defense was a thick log.

"Sakura… can you… recall any… sharp and/or pointy… object nearby…?" Shikamaru asked while deflecting attacks.

"Um… He has a sword before! Would that work?" Sakura asked.

"It would be… greatly… appreciated." Shikamaru replied.

Sakura ran into that direction, a bit thrown off by the fact that Shikamaru would _appreciate_ something.

Now, as if things couldn't get worse. NONESENCE! Sakura, upon returning, tripped on air, nailed Shikamaru in the lower leg, which caught him off guard giving Sasuke the opportunity to… well… let's just say Sakura helped Sasuke kill his 4th victim… And Sakura had the feeling she'd be the 5th…

A/N: Well, that's the chapter… Well-

Neji: Are you STILL writing that thing? Just give it up…

Me: You're just sour because you're not in this. (.) Probably the smartest thing I've ever done… well, ONE of the smartest…


	12. This is it!

A/N: YES! The 2nd to last chapter! This fanfic seems so… short… somehow… ah, well… I'll probably add another chapter MUCH later on… like in a year, for the rest of the reviews… Something to look up to, huh?

**Chapter 11: This is it!**

Suddenly, her legs couldn't move and she just stood there… Where she did move, air tripped her again.

Sakura felt droplets of blood fall on her head- The bloody axe that both he and Shikamaru feel to, and probably Sakura, too…

'_This is it! I'm done for!'_ Sakura told herself, covering her head, closing her eyes and screaming with the last bit of life left in her lungs.

She heard her own scream, like she was right next to herself (if that makes any since) as a white light surrounded her.

"Sakura!" A voice called.

Okay, that was the SHORTEST chapter I have ever written… not the shortest one I have ever read… there was this book a friend of mine read and one chapter was "There was no Bob." And that was the chapter…


	13. IAmGoingToKILLYouThe real ending

A/N: Okay… except for the one in 1 year I promised last chapter, this is the last one.

**Chapter 12: I'm.Going.To.KILL.You. (The real ending)**

'_So… this is it… Hey, wait!'_

Sakura opened her eyes to see Naruto on her right and Sasuke on her left… so, it was all a dream?

None-the-lest, Sakura's right arm moved on impulse, knocking Sasuke into the river (which had a rapid-like flow today) and he was dragged downstream.

"Um… Sakura…Isn't there a waterfall at the end of this river?" Naruto asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

Sakura was laughing until she remembers. "OMG! There IS!"

"Heh, heh… he's gonna murder you!" Naruto laughed, happy it wouldn't be him for a change.

"Oh, wait! THAT's why I slapped him!" Sakura said as Kakashi decided to walk over.

"Oh, so Sakura's awake." He said, putting his 'book' away… if you consider that THING a book… Then he looked around. "Where's Sasuke?"

"Sakura pushed him into the river!" Naruto said, very happily.

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Well…" Sakura explained the entire story… start at chapter 1 and read if you don't know.

"And you say MY story is farfetched…" Kakashi said.

"I get stabbed? By Sasuke? In a kitchen?" Naruto said, crying.

"Speaking of Sasuke, where is he? It's been a while since I slapped him…" Sakura said, looking around.

Just then, Sasuke appeared, drenched like a wet cat.

"I.Am.Going.To.KILL.You."

A/N: and that is the story… happy you people liked it! YAY! I ACTUALLY FINISHED A STORY!

Sasuke: Yippie for you…

Me: Aw, shuddap! I'm married to your future self for a week, so you have to respect me!

Sasuke: But Neji doesn't respect TenTen!

Neji: TENTEN! I said OFF!11

TenTen: No! For one week we're married! Like it or not!

Me: sigh Well, this is the last you'll be hearing from me until March 24, 2007! Atleast by this story… Anyway, see you ya'll later1 (Sorry if you're from Texas… I'm just using a joke said by the ACTUAL Blake… Screw him)


End file.
